"He's just as proud as he can be, of his anatomy, he goin' give us a peek ..."

— Ray Stevens

Did y'all hear about the naked guy?

Yesterday we reported the tail, er, tale of a Shannon man accused of breaking into the Lumber Bridge Town Hall on Saturday while stark naked. Now, granted, being stark naked is a little like being completely destroyed, but I use the redundancy to stress my point.

The dude had no clothes on.

I've gone to city hall or the village hall in various states of dress, and emotion, but I've never gone nude.

Most people you will meet in your lifetime will never venture to their local government headquarters in the nude. It's not common to show your seat in the county seat.

But maybe that's the problem. You know how they say you can't fight city hall? Well, maybe you could fight city hall if you did it in the buff. I'm just saying. It's something for you to ponder as you Twitter, Facebook and read yet another story about Michael Jackson's demise. But I digress.

Back to the naked guy in Lumber Bridge. A sheriff’s report said deputies found the 26-year-old man sitting on the floor of the Town Hall at 101 Railroad St. at about 9:20 a.m. Saturday. He apparently had broken a window to get inside, the report said.

It's probably a good bet the guy wasn't there to pay his utility bill. We may never know why the guy stormed the Lumber Bridge castle wearing only a smile.

The lawmen were sent to the scene of the naked intruder on an initial report of indecent exposure.

When did nude become indecent?

You know at one time we were all naked — all the time. Way back. Before television. We humans were prancing around in our birthday suits like it was nobody's business — or perhaps, everybody's business.

Adam and Eve strolled about in the Garden of Eden, nude and unadorned, happy as bees in honey.

Where did our shame come from? Who can we blame, because, you know, it's imperative these days that we blame someone?

I will point an accusing finger at that dastardly snake — aka The Devil — for tempting Eve with that big juicy forbidden apple. She bit. Then of course we can blame Eve, the woman, for tempting Adam, the man. And he bit. Then all heck broke lose and suddenly they were ashamed of their naked bodies and headed off to Walmart to get some clothes.

Maybe the snake played a role in the case of the naked guy in Lumber Bridge. Then again, maybe it was something else entirely.

The dude without duds may have been in training for The World's Largest Simultaneous Skinny Dip.

What's that? You say you're unfamiliar with The World's Largest Simultaneous Skinny Dip? Been too busy watching the "Beat It" video for the umpteenth time to care about eating and current events?

News out of Ocean Isle Beach is that The World's Largest Simultaneous Skinny Dip will occur in the warm waters of the Atlantic on July 11 — and everybody with a booty is invited.

Bring some sun screen and a good attitude, because the organizers are bound and determined to end up in the Guinness Book with this hootin', hollerin', arms flaying, buck naked outing.

The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C., last week reported on the big event, being organized by the Whispering Pines nudist resort. (Now we know what the pines are whispering about.)

The resort says its opening its doors to nude members and clothed non-members for the July 11 event. They hope to attract non-nudists to shed their duds and hop in the ocean in order to draw the biggest crowd and set the record.

The American Association for Nude Recreation is coordinating the event across the country at legally sanctioned nude beaches and resorts. The Guinness World Records Association is adding a category for the largest simultaneous skinny dip so any number of participants will set the record, according to The Sun News.

The dip begins at 3 p.m., but Gloria Waryas, the resort's secretary and liaison to the American Association for Nude Recreation, said the resort will open to the public at 2 p.m. so people can get into the pool to be ready for the 3 p.m. start time.

This is a great idea. I say we all load up the minivans and head to Ocean Isle next week.

It's not about sex. It's about liberation. It's about freedom.

In this post-9/11 world where our freedoms are fading and where we are one terrorist bombing away from full body cavity searches before all commercial flights, a little unabashed nakedness is really a refreshing idea.

Let's go — last one in the ocean is a rotten egg!

That is all.

— John Charles Robbins can be reached at 272-6122 or jcr800@gmail.com.