None are needed to impress the small groups of friends shuffling in and out to work on motorcycles.
On this crisp Saturday morning, the grease monkeys are firing super-charged questions at Lindsey from all directions.
His answers are not always well received but generally are accepted as the garage gospel. On occasion his analysis, diagnosis, treatment and rehabilitative suggestions are not followed.
Wise guys looking for easier, softer methods quickly turn into fools when ignoring the advice of "the engine doctor."
Conversely, listening to Lindsey can turn a piece of junk into a jewel.
Friend Mark Ross knows.
On the advice of Lindsey he bought a Suzuki 1,000E, though its engine was in pieces in a dark attic. Days later it was red-lining in the first three gears.
Some 20,000 miles later it is preparing for a run through the Burnt Islands.
"It was a thousand bucks, and I'm thinking, 'I don't know,' but then Wayne went on to prove it to me," Ross said. "He's got that kind of authority and insight."
Stories like this are common. If it can be fixed, Lindsey knows how. His tips and advice save dollars, prevent busted knuckles, and sore backs and give treasured toys increased speed, power and performance.
Mr. Goodwrench is a bush leaguer when compared to "the garage guru."
If it's got a motor Lindsey can make it purr like a calico, roar like a lion, race like a wild stallion and growl like a hungry bear. And he likes to be challenged. Go ahead -- try to stump him.
"I really enjoy working on something that everybody in town has tried and couldn't get right," said Lindsey, who is a repair technician for Richmond Rentals during the day and a friend to the mechanically challenged after the 5 o'clock whistle blows.
Engine idiots -- he sees 'em all the time.
"Over the years you'd be surprised how many people bring a lawn mower or chain saw to me and it was nothing but out of fuel," Lindsey said.
His power-packed chain saws are legendary in these parts. Lumberjacks have taken them to competitions for years. They are renowned at the Robeson County Fair.
The 55-year-old Lumberton native puts 45 years of experience into his reputation and words. Most folks in these parts know when the E.F. Hutton of engines speaks, it's time to take the cotton out of their ears and put it in their mouths. Even with advanced knowledge, Lindsey uses the same troubleshooting routine in each case.
His preliminary analysis is less technical than it is practical. He uses his senses before picking up a socket or a more advanced tool.
Medical doctors often check blood pressure, heartbeat, temperature, breath, eyes and ears in making a preliminary analysis.
"The engine doctor" checks oil pres sure, the spark of the plugs and the compression of the motor. He looks and listens to any and every sight and sound.
"If I can hear it run, I can tell you what's wrong -- most times I don't even have to see it," Lindsey said. "The first thing I do is check the oil. Then I do a visual inspection, much like a physician would do. If it's got good compression, is firing and has fuel, it absolutely has to run.
"It's all a process of elimination. Most of the time it's not major surgery. Engines today are unlike the ones from 20 to 30 years ago. The parts don't wear out as easily."
Most problems, Lindsey said, rest in operator errors and omissions.
"Nearly all repairs come from a lack of maintenance, stuff like changing the oil and filter," he said. "I've yet to come across an engine that has worn out. It's always broken because of a lack of service -- fluids, filters, plugs, timing belts, generally routine stuff. And for that matter most tires are changed because of air pressure and not because they've worn out."
When simple maintenance is ignored Lindsey springs into his specialty -- getting to the root of the problem.
"The best mechanics can troubleshoot; any mechanic can change parts," he said in dividing the repair field into the elite and everybody-else categories.
Lindsey is confident in his knowledge and abilities, so much so that he rarely works with a "certified," "registered" or self-proclaimed professional. He's been there and done that, and he's not easily impressed.
"Trying to speak with all modesty, I realistically don't know anyone as good," he said. "Over the years I've had some good mechanics working for or with me and many, many times had to go back over their work.
"I just don't know anyone that takes the pride in their work that I do."
For as much as he relishes his hands-on work, Lindsey also enjoys providing people with counsel so they can solve their mechanical problems.
"It really helps me to learn when I help someone," he said. "I give them advice, don't have to spend time on it. Then I always ask them how it worked. That way when I run across a similar problem, I have background ideas about how to treat it -- what worked and what didn't."
Lindsey began his mechanical journey with models cars, progressed to lawnmowers and chain saws, then to cars and motorcycles. Along the way he's worked on or owned some unique toys with interesting stories behind them.
Here is a list of his top six:
n His 1940 Harley-Davidson service car was classified as an Antique Custom 3-Wheeler at shows. It had a 45 CC engine, three forward gears and a reverse gear. It was a model New York City policemen used. Lindsey built it for friend Simpson Barnes in 1971, and Barnes let is sit abandoned in the woods for a decade before Lindsey resurrected it.
"It gave the old, nostalgic look, a bad-boy look, and was a head-turner," Lindsey said. "An ego-trip ride."
n His 2002 Honda VTX has an 1,800 CC V-twin engine. He completely modified the engine, polished the aluminum into a chrome look, gave it a new paint job, built a custom seat and made many other customizing changes.
"I pull up at bike shows, and they asked 'Who made that?'" he said. "I enjoy riding it because the bike is low-slung. You ride tucked in behind the engine. It's a cruiser, an eye-catcher, and I knew it was special when I had a bunch of Harley owners say 'Wow! What's that?' as they swarm around it at shows."
n Fast, powerful and classy may best describe Lindsey's 1998 Softail Custom Harley. It has all new electronics, a customized front end and new handle bars, and it has been supercharged. The 15-pound boost doubled its horsepower.
"I wanted the fastest bike around, even though I know it's not," Lindsey said. "It's a Harley, but it's totally different. I added a lot of chrome and a lot of power and speed."
n Trees cringed at Lindsey's 3120 Huskey chain saw, which had 123 CC of power and a 16-inch bar with a 404-pitch chain.
"He hasn't been in competition for years, but his saws are still winning," Ross said.
"I've been working on chain saws since I was 10 years old," Lindsey said. "Back then it took two men to carry one saw."
n It's been a while since Lindsey has seen his favorite remote-control car, but he sentimentally remembers his Baja Racer. It's hard to forget a two-cycle engine with 45 CC engine. It measured 36 inches in length and easily reached speeds up to 60 mph on the open beach.
"It had a sooped-up motor from a weed eater," Lindsey said. "It could fly."
n It took an adventure-seeking mind to come up with Lindsey's latest device. He took the motor of a 600 CC Yamaha YZF and mounted it to the body of a Suzuki 500 Quad Racer. Where one ends and another begins is hard to determine, but it is sleek and speedy.
"I built if for racing for a friend in Lake Waccamaw," Lindsey said. "I didn't cost me anything to build, and I got to test my abilities. It's a hot rodder. There's absolutely no other one around like it -- period."
Lindsey also has worked on boats, construction equipment and motor homes and if asked likely could supercharge a blender.
"All motors are the same," he said. "Once you've worked on one, you can work on any of them."
Perhaps, but few lack the expertise, experience and insight of Lindsey.
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