An angelic view of the election

I am convinced of two things at once that seem to not go together. One, I am convinced that America is the greatest country on earth. Two, I am convinced that Americans are often the weirdest people on earth. And nowhere is that weirdness seen any more clearly than during and right after an election cycle. Can you imagine what it would be like to be angels, creatures that can see and observe everything without even having their presence known, and paying attention to everything recently?

I suspect it would go something like this.

“So, Guilo, what is on your schedule today? Are you on duty watching over Jerusalem again?”

“No, Avar, I have been assigned to the White House today. Outgoing President Biden is hosting incoming President Trump for a cordial luncheon.”

“Wait, what? Are you serious? A cordial luncheon? How can that be? I was there when he likened him to Hitler and called him the greatest threat to democracy. In fact, pretty much all of his allies have said the same, and with great fervor and repetitiveness. Has something happened to change their minds?”

“Who knows?” Guilo said with a shrug of his shoulders and wings, “All of these creatures seem to change their tune as often as a banjo when it comes to politics. I was there when candidate Trump assured everyone he would lock Hillary Clinton up if he was elected and then changed that to “She has been through enough” after the election. That turned out to be the most ironic of choices since they then locked him up after saying that political opponents should not be locked up.”

Avar winced. “My head actually hurts thinking about all of this.”

“Then you might not want to talk to Tele; he is on transportation watch today. And as I passed by his station, I saw him shaking his head and heard him mumbling, “Every time; it is the same every time. Every election, I hold open spots on planes and boats for all of the actors and actresses and lawyers and singers who have promised to leave the country if things do not go their way, and every year, I waste my time in so doing. Does no one actually mean what they say anymore?”

“Bless his eternal heart!” Avar said sadly. But surely the common person is better, right? I mean, the average person, say, on social media, is not as weird as the pampered elites, right?”

Guilo roared with laughter. “Oh, my friend, did you really even say that? Here, check out this post from a woman who has spent months lamenting how hateful Republicans are and how we need to return to civility in how we interact with each other.”

Avar looked at his friend’s iPhone 777, and gasped as he saw the tweet from @liahlombardi, replying to a sweet picture of Kai Trump on the golf course with her grandfather, a smiling post captioned “Sundays with Grandpa.”

“Is this real?” he said in horror. “ ‘Y’all ugly. Hope someone puts a bullet in your grandpas head soon.’ This cannot be real. Not from someone who has been ‘railing against hate.’”

“It is indeed real,” Guilo sighed. “And it is not at all rare. I can show you tens of thousands more just like this one.”

“Well, perhaps we should look to the one group of people who will surely get it right. Are the clergy being consistent in their messaging?

Guilo laughed again. “That may well be the funniest part of all. What would you like to see first? Shall we start with the videos and columns of ministry leaders who spent weeks telling everyone that the clergy must be completely neutral, and that if they are not, they are no longer ‘gospel centered,’ but are now explaining to everyone how disappointed they are that Kamala Harris lost, thus exposing them as leftist partisans the entire time? Or would you rather start with the postings of self-proclaimed prophets and prophetesses who, four years ago, were saying that God told them Donald Trump would be reinaugurated on January 20, 2021, and are now saying, ‘We got it right, we just didn’t understand there would be a four-year gap of time in the prophecy’ ”?

“I’ll take ‘neither,’ please. All of this is just too hard to even believe. It’s almost like people are willing to lie about people to gain power, make promises they never intend to keep, are completely oblivious to their own hypocrisy, expect everyone else just to forget what they have said but clearly did not mean, and never gain any humility by all of the things they get so wildly wrong. Is there any good news on the horizon?”

“Yes,” Guilo said with a smile. “Peanut the squirrel is here. He will be giving a speech on Gold Street today recounting how he died a hero, fighting to the very end, biting the hand that was taking him to his death, and in so doing played an oversized role in the election.”