Wagner: It is appropriate to say, ‘I Am Thankful’

Let’s go ahead and get the negative stuff out of the way right up front: canned cranberry sauce is the creation of a mad scientist, a gelatinous glob of unnatural goop so unpalatable as to make the aliens lock their doors in horror as they pass by Earth on their way to more cultured planets.

Welcome to Thanksgiving week, people.

Anyway, you now know that I detest canned cranberry sauce. On the other hand, homemade cranberry sauce, especially my wife’s, is a dish so delectable as to be one of the main courses at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb, and I love it.

I actually love most everything about the Thanksgiving holiday; I love giving thanks in general, knowing that in the words of James 1:17, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above.” God has been good to us all, even to those who do not walk in his ways. Matthew 5:45 says, “That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.”

With all of that in mind, please allow me to spend the rest of this column giving thanks for things great and small. Here goes, in no particular order.

I am thankful for gumbo, Cajun fillet biscuits, my wife’s sourdough English muffins, dark meat turkey covered in gravy, deviled eggs, more deviled eggs, cold watermelon, real maple syrup, the honey from Swafford’s Bee Farm, a really good steak, homemade key lime pie, dark chocolate covered caramel with sea salt, Mexican food, quality sushi, my wife’s red beans and rice, tomato sandwiches right out of the garden, and deviled eggs.

I am thankful for being saved, and being able to pray anytime and anywhere and know that God hears me, and that I get to live forever in heaven, and that all of my family is saved, too, meaning that we will always get to be together.

I am thankful for writers who have helped to mold me, encouraged me, and taught me; writers like Frank Perretti, George Orwell, C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, Dr. James Dobson, Eric Metaxes, Joel Rosenberg, Max Eastman, Louis L’Amour, Sir Walter Martin, Thomas Sowell, and many, many more.

I am thankful for my Bible, and my church, and for all of the pastors and churches who so graciously bring me in to preach special meetings, and for all of the youth camps and rallies and marriage conferences and men’s meetings I get to preach.

I am thankful for a childhood made up of Bugs Bunny/Roadrunner/Speedy Gonzales/Yosemite

Sam/Marvin the Martian, Adventures In Odyssey, football games that left us bruised and bleeding, long hours in the woods having imaginary adventures, rock hunting in freshly tilled fields, and horses in the pasture.

I am thankful for a breathtakingly awesome wife, three fantastic kids, the best mother on Earth, a home that I love living in, the best in-laws on Earth, and friends that are still friends nearly forty years later.

I am thankful for amazing deacons and trustees, a fantastic assistant, a phenomenal choir director, the best custodians/decorators any church ever had, a kitchen staff second to none, and an entire church body of people who love the Lord and each other and make coming to church a happy experience.

I am thankful for this newspaper; lots of towns don’t have them anymore, and that is a bigger loss than most people seem to comprehend.

I am thankful for weight lifting, hiking, martial arts, scuba diving, dad jokes, puns, sarcasm, Calvin and Hobbes, The Far Side, Weird Al, Ray Stevens, The Morrison Sisters, the artwork of Mark Keathley, high-quality knives, my 2014 Ford F150, and that my wife showed me how to carry all of my messages on my iPad.

I am thankful for America, and for our founding fathers, and the Declaration of Independence, and the Constitution.

I am thankful for the South and everything that makes it special, among which is the friendliness, the “ma’ams and sirs,” the ladies at the drive-through calling everyone sweetie or baby, the biscuits and grits, the freezer full of venison, the (we!) guys driving around in trucks during an ice storm to pull people out of the ditch, the small town “everyone-knows-everyone” lifestyle, and families of four and five generations still living near to each other and being a part of each other’s lives.

I am thankful that people buy and read my books, and come to hear me preach, and email me about my columns, and share my videos; as a certified nobody from nowhere, all of that means a great deal to me.

And I am also thankful for real cranberry sauce that has never seen the inside of a can.